It's 12:30 on a dreary and cold Tuesday night/Wednesday morning and I am studying for two midterms I have tomorrow. They're two of those classes where you really think the information is interesting but the material is so dense and you start wondering why didn't I start this earlier... oh if I just had one more day! The good news is that I think I did pretty decently on my economics midterm today and even if I didn't my grades don't affect my GPA. I also had a pretty awesome weekend in Madrid, dipping my virgin feet into new experiences, some for the first time and some for the first and last time.
But sometimes bad news accompanies the good and I did get some bad news this weekend. I received word that one of my classmates at Hopkins, Miriam Frankl, was involved in a fatal hit-and-run while crossing the street at one of our apartment complexes just off-campus. I didn't know Miriam but I can't even begin to describe how incredibly sad I was to hear this. It wasn't the kind of sad that makes you sit at home and sulk all day like I'm sure it was for those who knew her well, but the kind of sad that gets you thinking about your own life and the lives of those you do love, and how that could have been me or one of them. If it was me, then I wouldn't have to worry about it because I would just be dead but my parents and the rest of my family would have to deal and it's painful to imagine that situation. It was real for Miriam's mom and dad. I read articles about how her parents flew in from Chicago to be with her when they pulled the plug on life support and my God, how long that flight must have been and what they were thinking in the duration. The thought of going about your normal day, taking a few steps off the sidewalk and BAM! that's it. Miriam had siblings, and that could have been my sister or one of my closest friends from home. I think one of the things that complexes me most was how the driver didn't even have the decency or the dignity to stop and try to do something about the situation he helped to create- that's where my hostility comes in.
The death of my classmate is like dejavu to me. Four years ago, my junior year in high school, another classmate of mine died in a car accident over Spring Break and I had the same sentiments, not knowing Adam well either. Time is the healer of all things and eventually my grief passed but there were always reminders of his death, notably the memorial t-shirts we were allowed to wear in his honor and memory even though I went to a school that required uniforms. Then at graduation his diploma was presented to his family and flowers stood in his would-have-been seat at the ceremony. It's been a long time since I've thought about Adam but little reminders like this bring them back. I also lost an elementary school friend this summer to a pointless, brutal stabbing and even though I hadn't seen Brandon since the last day of 5th grade, news of his death was so painful. When my mom and I went to his service about a week or less before I left for Rome, the boy that stared at me in the picture was the 20 year old version of the 10 year old boy I had grown up with. I wished in that moment that I had made an effort to keep in touch with him throughout the years but it was too late. I know it sounds so cliche' but I think sad times like these really reinforce in us to live life to the fullest because we never know when our time is up. It may be much sooner than we think.
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